Number 4 on the way....

Number 4? 4 what?!? 4 kids! Yup! I am preggy! I just found out on Friday that I am expecting....it is still pretty early in the game....but I am still excited....and I can't keep my mouth shut! According to my last menstrual period I am 6 weeks along!

On Friday, I told Erv that I was late about 13 days and he urges me to take a test.....I totally did not think it was going to be positive. I just thought my periods were screwy because I'm still breastfeeding......but I was wrong! The test was positive instantly. As soon as the pee hit the stick that line was blue. I took another test the next day just to be sure!

I am a little nervous.......these last two will be so close together....

I am happy......I did want to have another one....even if it was this soon!

I am excited! Boy or girl, I will be happy either way!

I am hopeful....for a great pregnancy!

I am praying for a healthy babe!

I am pregnant! Again! I can't believe it!

Torn

I am torn in this world of fat. I hate being fat....but I hate not being able to eat whatever the HECK I want! I hate what I look like in the mirror...but I hate not being able to put mayonnaise on my sandwich, or eat a Big Mac and french fries, or eat all the chips and salsa I want. I hate the way my clothes fit, but I also hate that I have to exercise! I hate the way my belly hangs over....but I hate sit ups and running.....I hate dieting!

I do so well in the beginning months..........and then it falls to pieces because I feel deprived. I am so sick of this yo-yo in my life. I was reading back on some of my journals years and years ago...and you know what it says? Every year my goal is to lose weight....Every year I am still about the same weight.....I just can't stand it! I am so sick of it! Why am I not ready to get rid of it all? Sometimes I wish I could just have liposuction and an abdominoplasty......that would fix me...: )

I need to pick a day to get back on track..........hopefully it will be soon. I need to get out of this funk.

11

"Look Mom! Look what I can do!"

"Are you still watching?"

"half way there"

"Like my diva pose?"

"one more step to the top!"

"I did it, MOM!"

"See what else I can do? I can stand up all by myself! I am almost walking...I took 5 steps the other day!"

My baby is 11 months old today!

SUCK

Yeah, I suck at losing weight.....I am off the wagon.....AGAIN! I get stressed out and then I eat and eat and eat! I am not even motivated to exercise.....I haven't been to the gym in a week! I should go right now while Allie is in school but I just don't have that drive. I weighed myself yesterday and had about a 1 pound gain.....I don't remember because I didn't write it down. I am just not motivated right now. I hope it comes back to me....MOTIVATION!!! WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU!???!??!?!?

Can anyone help me find it?

Happy Labor Day!

Happy Labor Day everyone!

Some things I did today included: Cleaned out my pots and pans cabinet, cleaned out my lazy susan cabinet, washed the dishes, cleaned behind the stove, cleaned the baseboards, wiped down all appliances, wiped down all counter tops, cleaned the windowsills and mowed the lawn......I wanted to work out today......but I guess I did get a "workout" in. Doing all those chores really does make you sweat! And my fingers are sore!!!!

Have a great day!

What happened ???

I had this big plan to journal my intake online for only 1 week.....and I didn't follow through! In my defense I worked over 60 hours in 5 days....and I am exhausted. I stayed pretty much on track with counting my points.....I did go over a few days......but I figured it balanced out with all the hours on my feet and walking up and down the halls like a mad woman.

I lost 5.2 pounds this week! YAY! I made some changes.....easy and hard....for example "easy" was increasing my water intake....and "hard" was resisting snacking urges, fighting cravings, measuring my food and making sure not to take seconds........basically getting out of bad habits.

I do apologize for not journaling the last 3 days...I really applaud those that blog their food daily! What work it is!