stress

well....the stress has finally caught up with me.....

i am tired...

i cant say much...please send positive thoughts and prayers my way.

i need it.

The Fathers in my life

I have been an extremely lucky girl.....to have a great husband and a great dad. Thank you for everything you both have done for me!

Ervin, I sometimes take you for granted and I am sorry....today, I thank you for all of your hard work and dedication to our family. This week for example, I don't know what I would have done without you. You have taken such great care of me this week while I recover from surgery... and you also have taken great care of the kids. I love you!

Dad, you are the most amazing person I know.
Thank you for being the best dad there is. You have always been there for me whenever I needed you. You taught me how to be a good person.
I am happy to say that dad is out of the ICU and is stable. Thank God...

failure!

So I finally weighed myself. I have been avoiding the scale for weeks....I finally just sucked it up and stepped on. NOT GOOD. I am back to my January weight. Oh..My...GoD...I don't know why I do this. I feel like a failure.

Good news is...I am having surgery next week. I am getting my tonsils out. My throat will be sore....I won't be able to swallow without pain...I will definitely lose weight.

Last night I took a long hour walk....and today... I will do it again. Started the day off good with a mushroom egg white scramble.

I know how to lose weight. Something is not letting me... I am keeping myself from this. And now....it is not all about how I look...which....I am hating the way I look and feel right now.....but I need to lose weight for my health....I need to be healthy!

My dad is in the hospital right now with pancreatitis. He is not looking too good. He is in the ICU..with an NG tube, 2 IV's, heart monitors, a foley catheter, a rectal tube, dilaudid PCA. He is wheezing needing breathing treatments...and is very swollen. I almost didn't recognize him when I saw him yesterday. He has diabetes and kidney disease. I was reading on the internet last night...the prognosis doesn't sound too good when you add in the kidney disease. I am just hoping that he will pull through this. My dad is one of the strongest people I know. It just hurts to see him in that hospital bed...looking so helpless and in pain.

I use food to cope. Not good.

If you are the praying type...Please pray for my Dad.....