Torn

I am torn in this world of fat. I hate being fat....but I hate not being able to eat whatever the HECK I want! I hate what I look like in the mirror...but I hate not being able to put mayonnaise on my sandwich, or eat a Big Mac and french fries, or eat all the chips and salsa I want. I hate the way my clothes fit, but I also hate that I have to exercise! I hate the way my belly hangs over....but I hate sit ups and running.....I hate dieting!

I do so well in the beginning months..........and then it falls to pieces because I feel deprived. I am so sick of this yo-yo in my life. I was reading back on some of my journals years and years ago...and you know what it says? Every year my goal is to lose weight....Every year I am still about the same weight.....I just can't stand it! I am so sick of it! Why am I not ready to get rid of it all? Sometimes I wish I could just have liposuction and an abdominoplasty......that would fix me...: )

I need to pick a day to get back on track..........hopefully it will be soon. I need to get out of this funk.

11

"Look Mom! Look what I can do!"

"Are you still watching?"

"half way there"

"Like my diva pose?"

"one more step to the top!"

"I did it, MOM!"

"See what else I can do? I can stand up all by myself! I am almost walking...I took 5 steps the other day!"

My baby is 11 months old today!

SUCK

Yeah, I suck at losing weight.....I am off the wagon.....AGAIN! I get stressed out and then I eat and eat and eat! I am not even motivated to exercise.....I haven't been to the gym in a week! I should go right now while Allie is in school but I just don't have that drive. I weighed myself yesterday and had about a 1 pound gain.....I don't remember because I didn't write it down. I am just not motivated right now. I hope it comes back to me....MOTIVATION!!! WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU!???!??!?!?

Can anyone help me find it?

Happy Labor Day!

Happy Labor Day everyone!

Some things I did today included: Cleaned out my pots and pans cabinet, cleaned out my lazy susan cabinet, washed the dishes, cleaned behind the stove, cleaned the baseboards, wiped down all appliances, wiped down all counter tops, cleaned the windowsills and mowed the lawn......I wanted to work out today......but I guess I did get a "workout" in. Doing all those chores really does make you sweat! And my fingers are sore!!!!

Have a great day!

What happened ???

I had this big plan to journal my intake online for only 1 week.....and I didn't follow through! In my defense I worked over 60 hours in 5 days....and I am exhausted. I stayed pretty much on track with counting my points.....I did go over a few days......but I figured it balanced out with all the hours on my feet and walking up and down the halls like a mad woman.

I lost 5.2 pounds this week! YAY! I made some changes.....easy and hard....for example "easy" was increasing my water intake....and "hard" was resisting snacking urges, fighting cravings, measuring my food and making sure not to take seconds........basically getting out of bad habits.

I do apologize for not journaling the last 3 days...I really applaud those that blog their food daily! What work it is!

Day 4

Daily target 28 points

cereal 6
1% milk 2
coffee 2

chips 3
veggie burger 2
lite bun 1
cheese 2
apple 1
banana 2
water
water

water
water
carrot sticks 0

chicken breast 3
baked potato 2
cottage cheese 2
broccoli
water
water

coffee from Tim Hortons (large iced coffee with cream and splenda) 4

While I am at work I will probably drink hot tea until midnight....then I start my new day.....when you work night shift it gets kind of hard when you decide your new day begins. I do midnight to midnight....other people do 9 am to 9 am......I just get too hungry to do 9-9 because I am up all day and all night and there is no way I can stay within my points target....so midnight to midnight works for me well.
Total 32

Used 4 WPA with 8 left for the rest of the week

Day 3 (a day late)

~I had a late night out with a friend yesterday so I didn't post my eats....but I am here now! It has been on the harder side this WW thing...I really have to think about what I put in my mouth and it is a challenge! But, I am feeling better and I am proud to say I have been staying on track!~

For Friday

Daily points target 28

2 Kashi frozen waffles 3
1 tbs pb 2
coffee 2
water

fiber one bar 2
water
water
water
water

cantaloupe 1
turkey pepperoni 2
LF string cheese 1
turkey meat 2
Morning star farms buffalo chicken 4
LF ranch dressing 2
(hows that for protein)

1 cup rice 4
chicken 4
asparagus stir fried in olive oil 2

apple 1
Lite ice cream 3
fiber one yogurt 0

6 beers 12 (yikes)

Total 47!

Used 19 of my WPA, that leaves me with 12 left for the rest of the week

Walked @ 4 miles +3 activity points