First Walk

Today was the first day I was able to actually get out and take a walk with my baby Gracie in the stroller. It was great to get out of the house and into the fresh air. Gracie fell asleep during our walk so I think she liked it. : )

My husband went back to work this past week and needless to say this week has been difficult. Taking care of four children....one stuck to your breast all day, one roaming around getting into everything under the sun, and 2 others that fight and bicker constantly has me one step closer to the psych floor...and not as a nurse.

It has been difficult because sometimes I feel like I don't have much support from my family. It would be nice if someone would call and say "hey can I bring you some dinner?" or "can I take the older kids out for awhile so that you can rest?" or "let me hold the baby for a while so that you can take a nap", or "do you need anything? I am going to stop by the store?" The list goes on...Don't they know that I just had a baby.....that my body is still recovering....that when I get up I feel like I have been hit by a truck...that I only get 2-3 hours of sleep at a time.....??? I wish my mom was present.....I wish she was here with me.....not in her own little world. Can you believe she asked me if I was going back to work next week.......a week after I had my baby?

Gracie doesn't seem to be happy unless she is on my breast. You take her off and she screams bloody murder. I am a big believer in breastfeeding and how great it is and how wonderful it is and blah blah blah....but I am telling you....sometimes it is freaking HARD. It is hard to be the sole food provider for your newborn. I feel like I never get a break. She will eat every hour. Growth spurts are continuous around here...

I knew it was going to be hard...

and I know it is all worth it...

my baby is crying...I gotta go.

2 weeks

Gracie has been here for 2 whole weeks now. Life has changed in so many ways....and I am so thankful for my baby.....

3 hours and 20 mins...

Yup, 3 hours and 20 mins....that is how long my labor was! Can you even believe that?

If you guessed...here is the birth story for my little Gracie Jade.

It was 3 am.....and Allie had just crawled in the bed with us. She woke up in the middle of the night...in usual fashion...to get her cuddle on. But...as soon as she woke me up I started having contractions. These contractions were not painful at all....but they were regular. I then started to have to go to the bathroom like every 10 minutes.....and then the contractions did get a little stronger. By 4 am I wake Ervin to let him know that I might be in labor. I tell him to start writing down every time I have a contraction.

The contractions were about 4-9 minutes apart and Ervin is urging me to go to the hospital.

I am not ready for that yet! The contractions are still far apart! My water did not break. No bloody show. I am still in early labor. I am not going to show up at the hospital and then be sent home! How embarrassing would that be! I am a labor and delivery nurse!

An hour goes by...the contractions are 4-5 minutes a part and stronger. I decide to call work and see what they are up to. My friend Sarah answers the phone.....are you guys busy I ask.....not too busy she says.....are you in labor? I don't know? Maybe!!! I think! I tell her I may or may not be in... I call my doctor 20 minutes later because my contractions are getting worse. I am ok in between them...but when one comes I am really breathing through them. I tell my doctor I am having contractions and he advises me to go to the hospital. He is already awake but at another hospital with another patient.

By the time we get all our stuff together and the kids ready and in the van my contractions have doubled in intensity. Ervin starts the van and says.......uh oh.......we are out of gas....." are you f-ing kidding me!" Why oh why I didn't have gas in the van is beyond me! That was stupid!

We had to stop for gas! I did not want to be stranded on the side of the road, out of gas...in labor...and deliver on the highway! He puts just enough in to get us back on the road.

The van ride was HORRIBLE! Each contraction was pure hell! I made Ervin run all the red lights....and speed like crazy.

By the time we get to the hospital, the contractions are 2 minutes apart....and even more intense. I had 8 contractions from the garage to the labor room. By the time I get into the labor bed I am completely dilated. 10 cm! Thank God! My water breaks and I push the baby out. Ervin announces that it's a girl!

My doctor didn't make it. The on call doctor delivered her. I arrived at the hospital at 6:10 am and delivered her at 6:20 am.

The cool part about this delivery was that Jacob and Allie and Maddie were there. I wasn't planning on them being there...it just happened so fast...we didn't have time to drop them off anywhere. I had prepared them in advance that I was going to be in pain and that it was normal....and that I might be loud. Allie really really wanted to be there....and so I am happy that they both got to experience this birth.

AND.....the irony!

The on-call doctor that delivered me has made it clear that she is totally against VBACs.....and she happened to be on call....and deliver....a VBAC....

surviving week 1 post partum

Life has been just a little interesting the past few days. Exhaustion in addition to hormones makes mommy just a little emotional! I took Gracie to the doctor the other day and for no good reason I started crying....I mean bawling in front of the doctor! and then all the way home....and then again when I got home!

I am in much better spirits now. Breastfeeding has been going great this time around. Gracie is a champion breast feeder! I finally have a baby that knows exactly how it is supposed to be done! It is great! This time around I have no stress about how many dirty and wet diapers she has had, how long it has been since the last feeding, if she is getting enough....if she is gaining weight.... When we left the hospital Gracie weighed 6 pounds 10 oz. down from her birth weight of 7 lb 6oz. and when we went to the doctor she had already gained 4 oz back. She eats every 2 hours...which is fine with me....I mostly breastfeed her in the side lying position so we can both get some rest. The only thing with Gracie is that she does not like to be alone....she does not like the bassinet.....she likes to be right next to me......ALWAYS! But I am not complaining...I guess I should just enjoy it while it lasts! Before I know it she will be all grown up!

Maddie has been outstanding with Gracie! She LOVES her! I am so so so so happy about that! She loves to kiss her and is very concerned when she cries. She wants to hold the baby and take care of her. Jacob and Allie also love the new baby. They have been great with her as well. They both fight over who gets to hold her first.

I will have to post the delivery details soon..... in the meantime.....here is some love...

She's Here!

Gracelyn Jade was born @ 6:20 am today! We are doing great!

39 weeks

Wow, I made it to 39 weeks...I have never been pregnant this long! Last night I was having some good contractions.....and then they just fizzled out.....and then again this morning I was contracting every 2-5 minutes.....and then they went away. I had another Dr. appointment today which went well. I am dilated to 3 cm and the doctor says my bag of waters is bulging. He thinks I will go into labor this week some time....

Who knows, I will probably still be pregnant next week! lol....

The baby's movement has slowed down a bunch.....and I feel lots and lots of pressure....

Maybe it will be this week....

I have to work a 12 hour shift tomorrow....maybe that will put me into labor!

Sometimes I am ready for the pregnancy to be over.....and sometimes I wish I could just stay in this pregnant state forever. I am getting nervous about labor....I hope I can stay strong. I hope my labor goes fast....

I can't wait to meet my new little baby....


Gosh, I am all over the place in this post.....I blame it on my pregnant brain.

World A'fair 2010

The World A'fair was a huge success this year. Jacob and Allie did a fantastic job dancing! I was so proud of them...I had tears in my eyes. Not long ago, I was the little girl dancing the folk dances, and now my children are filling in my shoes. It feels good to pass on our Philippine heritage to my kids. It feels darn good!

Here are a few pictures: