Maddie is a year and a half!

My Madelyn Justine turned 18 months old this month. She is the light in my day. The happiness I feel when I see her is just indescribable. She had her 18 month check up and everything went well. She weighs 24 pounds and is 32 1/4 in. long. She is growing like a weed. The only thing about Maddie is that she does not talk much! And she won't say Mommy. Only Da Da... I feel sad for her because the new baby will be coming soon and she has no clue what is to come! She will no longer be the baby. She is already jealous when Jacob and Allie give me hugs.....I don't know how she will react to the new addition that will be attached to me! I have to say that Maddie has been the best baby I have ever had....I have probably said that before....but she really is! She sleeps through the night....she sleeps in her crib....she takes a 2-3 hour nap everyday! She is generally easy going.....

I love you Madelyn!

36 weeks

I am 36 weeks pregnant as of yesterday! I can't even believe it. My due date is May 24th and it is hard to believe that May is next week! I had a doctor appointment today which went fine. My urine and Bp's are fine.....I gained another 4 pounds this week...which brings the weight gain to 33 pounds total...had my GBS culture done and since he was down there he checked my cervix. I am CLOSED...but soft. I was kind of hoping I would be a little bit dilated! But hey, I am not in any hurry! I have never made it to 39 weeks before....so maybe I will this time! I am hoping to at least make it past May 16th. That weekend is the weekend of the World Affair. Jacob and Allie will be performing Filipino Folk dances and I sooo don't want to miss any of that! and let's not forget about the delicious food!

The uncomfortableness has started for sure.... pelvic pressure, heartburn, sciatica, shortness of breath, and the slow walk...the waddling has begun. But, I am still enjoying the pregnancy. It is going to be over before I know it. I am not ready for it to end.

I am enjoying those kicks...

Jacob's Birth Story

In anticipation of the upcoming birth of my baby, I have decided that I want to revisit the past births of my children. I have had 3 different kinds of births and the experiences have kept me wondering what is in store for me next. I plan to go into labor on my own! No induction! No repeat c/sections either! I plan that my labor will be fast and easy! and hopefully I can do most of my laboring at home and not in the hospital attached to monitors! Wishful thinking huh? Well, my first birth wasn't easy. It was long. It was painful. It was exhausting!

I was 23 years old, in nursing school. I had just finished my OB rotation and thought "I am going to get an epidural for sure!!!" That was my only plan. I didn't have an elaborate birth plan. Just a plan to get an epidural! A few days before I delivered I swore I was leaking water. I went to the doctor and he reassured me that I was not ruptured and that I should just go home and relax. I evidently had been peeing on myself! He checked my cervix and said I was 2 cm dilated and he scheduled me for an induction just 2 days later. I was only 38 weeks! Hey, I was all about it! I was tired of being pregnant and I wanted the baby out! I was so over clinicals and nursing school. I just wanted to be done. The next day, I still felt the leaking...but I ignored it thinking I was still just peeing on myself....but that night I started feeling crampy and started seeing some bloody show. I called my doctor and he was not impressed. He says..."I checked your cervix yesterday so you will have a little bloody show, that is normal." The pain seemed to get worse and I just didn't feel good. We decided to head to the hospital. I was going to be induced in the morning anyway....why not go in a little early.

Here I am a few days before delivering, sometime in March 2002.

So, we get to the hospital after being pulled over by the police! Ervin was a little nervous and was driving a little erratically. The police let us go without a problem after he found out we were headed to the hospital to have a baby! Once we got there and signed in, they placed me on the monitors. The baby's heart beat was really high, they said.....and I had a fever. I didn't even know I was sick! I was just having some pain. I was still only 2 cm! They started me on antibiotics and pitocin. The pain became unbearable and the nurse insisted I should get some IV pain medication. I definitely didn't put up a fight....but I have to say that the nubain did nothing for my pain, and my husband.....he was sound asleep on the couch! SNORING!

This is how I spent my whole labor, on oxygen and stuck in bed.

I eventually got an epidural! Thank God for EPIDURALS! It was the best thing! My pain was gone! and so was the feeling from my tummy down to my toes! I felt nothing....just NUMB! When it was time to push, I felt nothing! I pushed for hours and I swear, I must have been a horrible pusher. I couldn't feel anything! The doctor finally comes in and puts the vacuum on the baby's head to help me out....and even then it took forever. I probably pushed for 20 more minutes even with the help of the vacuum.

Jacob finally came out with apgars of 3 at 1 minute and 8 at 5 minutes. When Jacob was born he looked dead. He was totally blue and limp. No crying, no coughing. That's when I knew that motherhood was not going to be easy. I wanted to jump out of the bed myself and help resuscitate the poor little guy! But, he came around and finally started crying.

Born March 15, 2002 at 1:59 pm, 8 lb. 6 oz. 20 1/4 in. long.

Jacob's birth was and still is one of the happiest times in my life.
Becoming a mom is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

When I look back at that story I wish I knew then what I know now.

Allie and Maddie's birth stories to follow!

Oh, are you pregnant?

I decided I would finally post a preggy pic of me....I am 33 weeks pregnant.....but do I look pregnant? Maybe....maybe not! I still get the "Oh are you pregnant?" question. I WISH I looked pregnant! I don't care how big my belly would be.....I just wish someone would say...."Dang, did you see her? She is pregnant!" lol......One of my co-workers was being nice and said..."oh you just carry the baby differently..." that line means......You are fat...and the baby is hiding behind all that fat. It is okay...I have accepted the fact that I will never be one of those cute beautifully pregnant women with the basketball belly. It sucks. But, here I am...Fat and pregnant at @ 33 weeks.....

Celebrations

We've been doing a lot of celebrating lately! Ervin's bday, Allie's bday and Easter all were clumped together this year! I had to work on Easter so I missed out on all the fun festivities...egg hunts, yummy food, and the joy of family! I did get a glimpse of the girls in their Easter dresses. Allie complained that her dress was too itchy! and I heard that Maddie was trying to take her dress off in the car on the way to the party!

Aren't they just adorable???

Ervin turned 33 this year. We celebrated by going to the boat aka casino. My mom treated us to an overnight stay for free as well as dinner and breakfast buffets. We even brought the kids. The kids loved the pool! We had a good time.....the only downfall.....losing 300+ dollars to those awful slot machines!!! My mom won 35,000 dollars a few months ago and I was hoping to win a little! Not so much!!! We had cheesecake, Erv's favorite to celebrate!

Allie turned 6 this week! I cannot believe how much she has grown. She wanted her party at Chuck E Cheese. We went there on a Saturday and it actually wasn't tooo crowded! We were there early around 11 am so that may have made a difference. She had a really good time and got some cool presents including an i pod shuffle from grandma and grandpa. She loves listening to music and wanted her own tunes to listen to. I am now trying to download some music on to it but I am having some technical difficulty! Why is it that you can spend hours on the computer waiting for downloads! So frustrating!!!

My baby girl is 6 years old! She has grown into such a loving and beautiful person. She is sensitive and funny. She loves it when we spend time together. She loves her family...and we love her too!

Happy 6th birthday baby!

Rules of the Labor and Delivery Area (the truth about labor and delivery)

Ok, so this is really really funny stuff, only because half of it is true. It may be a little offensive.......

Rules of the Labor and Delivery area...

1. Don't ask me if my wheel can tell you if you got knocked up on the 15th or 16th. That's too damn close to have two different partners anyway...just suffer for 8 more months, assuming the father is not the one it should be.

2. Bed rest does not include walking around Wal-Mart, or running by the mall to pick up something.

3. Don't come in the middle of the night because you've been throwing up for a week...and then ask me to get you something to eat. * People do this all the time! Seriously!

4. Breathing hard, and faking to your family like you are having contractions, WON'T open up your cervix.

5. Tears, and rolling around in the bed also will NOT open your cervix.

6. Doing sit ups while in bed to make the monitor go up ....also WIL NOT open up your cervix.

7. Until your cervix is opening....don't plan on staying.

8. If you have a fight with your boyfriend and need a little TLC...go to his mothers house, not the labor room. * Seriously! People do this all the time!!!*

9. If you are there with someone in labor, don't try to read the strip and tell me what's going on. YOU DON'T KNOW the difference between a contraction and a fart and you will likely piss me off and delay your loved one getting pain medication or her epidural.

10. When I ask the patient a question, that is who I want the answer from...ok? I don't need her mother to tell me when she had sex last.

11. This day and time, if a patient is between the ages of 37 and 42...she has had approximately 2-5 partners. If she is between the ages of 28 and 36 the average is 7. If she is in her early to mid twenties, then her age is how many partners she has had....If she is a teenager, then "too numerous to count" applies. ( and she has had or currently has chlamydia or trich.)

12. Open your damn legs. If you were a virgin you wouldn't be here.

13. Shave that shi*t. If we wanted to go to the jungle we would go there.

14. Clean you a** before you come in. Unless you have the umbilical cord hanging out, are in a serious accident, or are bleeding profusely, take time to wash up a bit...it is going to be on display.

15. You'd better be nice to your nurse. She, not the doctor decides when you get pain medication...There is such a thing as placebo. We can also make you wait the entire two hours...adding 45 minutes to our convenience...or we can give it to you 15 minutes early...it's all in your attitude.

16. The fewer visitors you have with you...the better mood your nurse will be in.

17. Get rid of that one "know it all" visitor before it is too late. She can ruin the entire experience for you by pissing me off.

18. If this is your 6th baby, either get the epidural before you come in, or don't plan on one!

19. Don't blame us when your baby can't say it's own name when it's five. Chances are, it was the cocaine you snorted in the parking lot before you were rushed in abrupting.

20. If your pulse is 50 when you come in...from all the downers you've been taking..chances are your baby will be several bricks shy of a full load...It's your fault, not ours.

21. When I ask if you smoke...you should include marijuana in that answer. Other things that should be included are hashish,crack, meth, and any other illegal drug you have smoked. Nicotine is the least harmful of all the crap you could smoke dummy.

22. Don't b*tch as us because you baby has to stay in the hospital until it is 2 months old, weaning off the methadone and morphine. Regardless of what the bullshit clinic says to you...methadone is NOT healthy for babies.

23. If you call us and say you're bleeding profusely, then I'd better see some blood when you come in. Do you know how many people we notify for sh*t like that?

24. Hard labor doesn't just stop with one bag of IV fluids. We know a faker when we hydrate one.

25. If you're an addict, we already have a preconceived notion about you, and we probably don't like you. Nothing personal...it's just the way it is. You chose that life, now live it.

26. Regardless of the fact that your neighbors sister's aunt had a baby at 30 weeks and it is perfect...that does not mean we're going to let you have yours at 30 weeks.

27. Your neighbors sisters aunts baby likely had to stay in the hospital for 6 weeks, and could possible have problems that you're not aware of...dumb dumb.

28. You'd better tell us if you're on a narcotic..trust me...we'll know soon enough...because our drug of choice is Stadol....ha ha

29. If you have track marks on your arm, NO YOU CAN NOT GO OUT AND SMOKE with your IV. What do you think we are? Stupid?

30. Don't scream. We hate screamers. It gets on our nerves and we just sit around at the desk looking at each other and grinning and making faces. It's not to you advantage.

31. If you don't have custody of your 3 other kids, chances are you won't go home with this one either. We ARE calling Social Services. That's our job.

32. If the baby's daddy is in jail, and he's still your boyfriend, we automatically assume "birds of a feather flock together."

Ok, so of course not all of these rules are true.....I would never withhold medication to a patient in need no matter how much her family got on my nerves. I don't care if you scream your head off....because I know it hurts....it does scare me a little though....and it reminds me of how close I am getting to feeling that pain! I also don't care if you have shaved or not!

Hope you all were entertained rather than offended!

Enjoy it. Cherish it. Love it.

What exactly am I talking about? Well....I am talking about pregnancy! As a labor and delivery nurse I have no sympathy for the preggy lady that comes in and complains about how tired they are of being pregnant and how they are soooo uncomfortable and how they are soooooo ready to "get this f#cking baby out" right now! I don't really care how much "pressure" you're feeling in your vajayjay because you know what? I am feeling that pressure too and you know what, I am on my feet for 12 hours straight! I don't care that you are nauseated and vomiting....you are pregnant! You will have nausea and vomiting! I guess I should feel some compassion towards these women but it is really hard when you see and hear it day in and day out and you are living it. The other day we had a woman come in and complain of "chest pain". The doctors worked her up and everything came back negative.....but they decided to induce her. After she heard the words, "induce" her chest pain magically went away. She never complained of that pain again. So many women want to be induced and really it is not the best way to go. There are risks involved and I wish more women would be proactive in educating themselves about the risks of induction and risks of C/Sections. Women are scheduling C/Sections for "vaginal preservation". WTF? What about that big ass incision on your abdomen? or the risks of infection, hemorrhage, and injury to other organs just to name a few. If you need a C/S, that is one thing, but if you are scheduling one because it is "easier" that is another! Going into labor on your own is sooooo much easier! What I am trying to point out here is that pregnancy is not easy. Sometimes it is not fun. Sometimes it is uncomfortable. You got pregnant and you will be pregnant for 40 weeks. 40 weeks people. Not 37 weeks, not 38 weeks, 40 weeks!

This is my last pregnancy and I am enjoying every last minute of it. I am not saying that this pregnancy is easy. I am not saying that I am not uncomfortable because I am. I am saying that I am happy that I can carry a baby to full term, and that I am lucky too. I am lucky to even be pregnant. I am cherishing every minute of this pregnancy. Every kick, every nudge, every ache, every pain, every hiccup, every burn....I am loving it! I am so excited to see this new baby boy or girl. But, in the meantime.......I am loving the precious time this baby and I have to just ourselves. This pregnancy will come to an end. I am not going to be pregnant forever....... I am enjoying it, cherishing it, and loving it.

I only have about 9 more weeks to go. I cannot believe that!